"That life is complex I believe in general but it doesn’t mean it can’t be simple in the end. If all the different strings sum up to just one trace that you love each other, to the point that the complex background sums up to the result of simplicity, that truly would be desirable. I wish and believe so too that our Love can be so simple."

do you remember you once said this to me?

and i wonder, how did something so beautiful turn out to be so messed up?

In a sudden surge of sentimentality, i felt a rush to journal about how the past year has been. It’s mid January already but I don’t think it’s too late to make sense of mistakes past and life cherished.
I started 2009 with a heart of cynicism, determined to get over a certain someone and to build a life independently. My goal was indeed fulfilled with work commitments that burnt me out. Then I took a leap of faith in entering a relationship in May- something perhaps on retrospect I don’t regret. It was impulsive and stemmed from feelings and insecurities that haunted me from the past. Those few months were perhaps a period of my life I would never forget. I met someone who tore down my walls and made me believe I could be loved in a way I never thought possible. Loved in a way I thought would only happen to someone else, never myself. It was a love that extinguished my cynicism and made me vulnerable to being hurt again.
Being in a foreign land made me so much more appreciative of my home, of my family, of people who are like me in my country. It made me more aware of so much out there that I have not seen and experienced and the irony that people out there know so little about my country. I learnt the importance of communication between two people who love each other but who live so far apart. I realised who were the ones who stood by me through those four months are probably the ones who would be there for me for the rest of my life.
I learnt that it’s okay to be vulnerable and get hurt when you are just trying to be true to yourself. If you love genuinely and whole heartedly, you will always be let down. But love anyway, because you live life to the fullest on your own terms-not because of how others see you or take advantage of you or disappoint you. In this New Year, I’ve abandoned cynicism and defensive pessimism. My prayer for the year is an old and used one- God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

i'm trying so hard to detach my feelings so that i will stop being a burden to you.

It's amazing how I keep looking forward to this, although it happens twice a day, everyday. :)I had a picnic with puffles on my bed today!
We had a party watching gossip girl together :D

And that's because the rain stopped me from having a picnic in the woods.

It was still beautiful anyhow.

I will miss taking in deep breaths of cold fresh air and sipping hot earl grey tea on wintry days.

this blog is way too sad and i want to start anew.
deleted all sad posts (which is pretty much everything).

i have decided to be a more optimistic person and be more grateful for things around me from this day onward :)

And I can't believe, that I'm your man girl,

And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.

Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,

And you know that's what our love can do.

'Everything' by Michael Buble

margaritas love <3